This world. This one here? Whew. Is it sad. And sometimes there is nothing else to say except that we long for the day when we can be in the world that is the way God always intended. This is not the way it was supposed to be. "For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies" (Romans 8:22-23).
I am not special. I'm not. And that's okay. I am special to God, and He loves and appreciates me for my purpose, whatever that may be (I don't think I have that figured out yet). But I am not an extraordinary human. It is a daily line in my head that I repeat over and over -- I am not special.
BUT. But. I am important, and I am necessary in the larger story in which I choose to live. And I am loved. Isn't that all I need?
Regardless of how much I may want it, not everyone will be my friend. Nor does everyone want to be my friend. Isn't that silly? They don't even know how awesome I am. :) But truly, I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I will not (and cannot) be friends with everyone. And even if I think I have room in my life and want to be there for someone, they don't necessarily need or want me. And that's okay too. Because when I feel the desire to be a friend to someone, I can pray for them and be a friend who asks for nothing in return. And - BONUS - they don't even have to know I'm their friend. I can just be the creepy girl who stares at (and prays for) them.
Lessons for the Week have gotten a little depressing. Maybe it's all this "self-reflection" and "growing" I've been doing. Gross. I should stop that.
I am sick of baby food. I am sick of buying it, of serving it, of wiping it up. See, there's this sweet spot with babies where they want to start eating as much finger food as possible. If you take advantage of that sweet spot, they transition easily and naturally to table food. BUT, if you get lazy with your second kid and that sweet spot hits on vacation, and you keep feeding him baby food because that's what you have, you may be screwed. Like me and Wriston. So I need to stop being so lazy and start figuring out more table food to feed him that doesn't include hot dogs, chicken nuggets, or peanut butter. Because I have enough mommy guilt about Elijah's diet already.
You cannot heat milk in a teapot. Unless you're ready to pick it up right before the whistle blows. Otherwise, you'll end up with boiling milk all over your stove and slightly over-chocolate'd hot chocolate because you don't have enough milk left.
Don't try to force memories. Just don't. Because then you'll end up having two super-stressed parents, an exhausted toddler, three broken ornaments, and a happy, happy baby crawling away with things off the tree. Next year I'm just going to put everything on but one ornament for each boy. And I'm going to do it all while they're asleep.